Finally! The Jumbo Super Ultra Lord had made its final transformation. No longer was it only a small Honda that could kick some alien invader butt, now it was a space shuttle that could kick some major alien butt. The process had taken only three weeks, and fortunately the aliens had decided not to destroy it while the process was going on, I mean, it was above ground, in the middle of the city, but that's beside the point.
Finally, we'd have our savior from this menace. "Jumbo Super Ultra Lord online," came out this incredibly sexy voice (despite it being a robot), and it leaped into action. It pulled its handgun out of the holster and fired three yellow energy shots, killing nine aliens with each blast. The aliens weren't too happy about this, and started rushing him. In his humanoid form, Jumbo Super Ultra Lord had no problem dodging their attacks, as one by one they flew past him, and he sliced them with his super duper sword that he kept on his back.
Right as he finished spewing the guts out of one of the last attacker, a large ship appeared on the horizon. Jumbo Super Ultra Lord knew just what to do. He grabbed his hand gun again, and it instantly transformed into a huge gun as parts clinked and clanked out of seemingly the gun itself. Three rockets shot out of it as it was mounted on his shoulder and flew directly towards the ship. The explosions were so huge, that the heat from the blast could be felt from where he was, despite the fact that the impact happened hundreds of miles away.
One of Jumbo Super Ultra Lord's fan girls started jumping up and down next to him, shouting "Go Ulty go!" with waving pom poms and a cheerleader's outfit. She smiled cutely, and stars and daisies suddenly appeared around her as her long, blonde hair defied gravity for a few seconds while she was in the cheering pose.
With the aliens technology, it didn't take long for them to reach where "Ulty" now was. In just a matter of seconds, the ship reached his location, and the stare-down commenced. Even with Jumbo Super Ultra Lord's extra size, the ship was still hundreds of times larger than him, and had infinitely more guns. Even that huge blast had hardly done anything to penetrate the hull of the ship.
Short words of slander flew between them, and then the lasers, bullets, beams, and rockets started to fly. Jumbo Super Ultra Lord managed to detonate a few more rockets on the ship's hull, but was hit by a powerful beam, which seared off the plating on his side. He fell and landed on some rubble, face up.
His fan girls quickly surrounded him, tears in their eyes, with beams, bullets, lasers, and explosions going on all around them.
"Ulty!" they all cried as their tears seemed to halt in midair.
"I'm sorry for failing you." Ulty said, with a sadness in his voice which is very uncharacteristic for a robot.
"You haven't failed us. We will always love you. Use the power of our love!"
At these words, and the realization that love was the most powerful force on the planet, Jumbo Super Ultra Lord's plating magically rematerialized, and a bright light shone around him. He went into another transformation sequence, which fortunately only lasted about thirty seconds. He turned a hot white color, and no one could look at him, for the energy emitting from him was too great.
"What? What are you doing, Ultra Lord?" queried the ship.
"I'm not Ultra Lord anymore," came an even sexier voice from the cooling off robot. "I am now Love Machine." Love Machine struck a cool pose, though he looked about the same, except that hearts were covering him now.
He got up, grabbed his rocked launcher, and fired five love missiles at the ship. The explosions cleared straight through the ship, leaving giant heart shaped holes behind.
This infuriated the ship, so it concentrated more firepower onto Love Machine, who easily dodged the vast majority of the blasts, though it didn't matter, for whatever hit him simply reflected off his new love armor. As more and more heart shaped holes started filling the ship, less and less death rained from above, until finally, the ship could no longer stay airborne and started crashing to the earth. Love Machine, seeing this, transformed into his space shuttle form, and flew directly into the ship. A moment passed where they were locked in a standstill. But after that, Love Machine's superior strength started pushing the ship back out into space.
As they neared the stratosphere Love Machine gave one final push, and the ship flew off into the dark abyss, leaving nothing more than a twinkling star as it disappeared.
As Love Machine landed back down on Earth in his humanoid form, everyone cheered for him. "I'm glad that you took care of all those aliens! Without a doubt they'll never come back!"
Amidst all the cheering and partying, no one realized that an ooze had started coming up from the rubble.
To be continued...
(Ok, so it's not really going to be continued, but I will say that trying to write an anime [much less a general anime spoof/parody] is quite tricky. It was fun, though, and somewhat funny to me, hopefully you all won't be too offended at it's mostly childish humor. It's supposed to be over the top, just in case you couldn't tell. Anyway, hope you all are having a great time on your Monday. I know I am! More or less. Peace out my homies!)
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