The thing about battles is that there's always a victor. And the thing about victors is, you can never fully know who it will be. It all boils down to several extremely complicated equations, a few variables-some of which are random-and of course, the combatants themselves. However throughout the entirety of forever, there has only been one who was so powerful that, no matter what the other variables were, he would always come out the victor. And by one, I mean two. For these two both were born on the same day.
However, they were so powerful, that even their mother could not contain their awesomeness, for they punched their way out of their mothers womb. However, despite this horribly grotesque picture that the author probably shouldn't describe at 1 in the morning, she did not die, nor did she have any scars, for they were born with P.H.D.s and one of them had medical tools implanted in his hands. That's right, these men were born Ninja Robots.
One of them controlled the four main elements, Earth, Water, Wind, and Fire, while the held sway over time, space, it's continuum, and heart. With these elements combined, they faced no power on Earth that could even try to pose a threat to them.
Their fame quickly spread. They faced outlaws, head hunters, demons, vampires, gay vampires (the ones that are sparkly), Dick Van Dyke, Even Chuck Norris (though, that one was technically a draw). They fought furiously and ferociously, with fist and fury, with blade and... something else that starts with a b... blowtorches! That's right, they fought with blowtorches!
They fought so hard, that they defeated everything(except for that draw with Chuck Norris). Seeing that there was nothing else to fight, they swore to never fight again, putting away their powers in a single chest, ready to give to the next worthy person(s), and joined a Quaker church.
After that point their lives really changed. They had normal lives. They laughed, loved, and even went to Quaker school, where they met this really crazy guy who has a blog now, and wanted to wish them a Happy Birthday. Anyway, they lived happy lives, and ended up doing some really cool things, but you'll get to hear about that later. The important thing is that they are awesome, and are not a force to be messed with. Oh, and it's their birthday, that's important too.
(ok, so maybe I got a little derailed, but Happy birthday, you guys. I hate just saying happy birthday to people... everyone does it now-a-days, and I wanted you guys to know I was thinking of you [and happened to notice on Facebook it was your birthday ;) ]. Enjoy today, and I hope you guys are doing well. Best regards!)
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