The next thing I knew, I was in a room. There was a door, a book shelf, and a few beds. I was the only one there, but it seemed like others had been living here for some time. There were piles of books, clothes, and other devices, which looked like sticks. There were also lit candles. The room felt warm, and that's when I realized that I had no idea where I was. I, of course, had another encounter with those soldiers, or at least some that looked closely like the ones that attacked my house. They ordered me up, clothed, and ready to leave in an hour. It wasn't until later that evening, after I had donned bright blue robes, that the weird guy in the gray garb gave his speech. There were people everywhere, but not a smile could be seen, except for on the faces of those at the front table, obviously talking about something intently.
On the walk over I happened to run into a few people who looked about as shocked as I did at this encounter. I decided to stick close with them, because they had probably gone through the same experience I had. There was a girl who was probably about my age, though she was already taller than I; she had dark, black hair, freckles on her face, and was extremely skinny. The boy looked like he was a little bit younger than the two of us. His boyish, brown hair was cut extremely short, and he looked as though he had some muscles on him, which was weird for someone his age, but I didn't pay it too much attention.
"I'm Medgar," I whispered, as I hoped that they would respond in kind. Nothing but a nod of the head and a darting look was all I got back from them. "Were you kidnapped too?" I followed up, hoping to get at least some information out of them. The boy nodded slowly as he just looking at the floor, while we paced along, and the girl looked at me straight in the face and seemed to study my very soul.
"You're going to be trouble," she finally stated in a sweet voice, which caused a bit of a double take internally, I wasn't expecting something like that to come attached to a voice that sounded so carefree and capable of happiness.
She looked at me for a few more seconds before saying "Count me in." And that is when the most devious smile I have ever seen grew on her lips. I was quite mortified, to say the least, though I thanked her for her kind offer of aid.
The boy just continued to look down at the floor. It was right about this time that we reached where we were instructed to go. And it is precisely at this point that things finally started making sense to me. When we reached this room, which was apparently a large dining hall of some sort, we got a look of even more people, mostly older, who were wearing similar robes to the three of us. Of course, the few people that we passed in the hallway had similar robes, but I didn't make the connection until we were with such a mass of people, that all the robes looked the same, save for the color.
I'm not sure I told you this earlier, but I'm a little bit of a brainiac. I enjoy looking at puzzles and figuring them out. I had the rare opportunity to read books at my uncle's house when we visited, and I would spend countless hours just absorbing as much information as I could from them.
Good first draft. I see some issues I myself struggle with, especially since you are in first person POV. Take a fine tooth comb, and run it through this. An example I have to watch for all the time in my writing is: "It was right about this time that we reached where we were instructed to go." This kills the action because it's not the action that's happening, it's describing the action happening. I know it may not sound like it makes sense, it didn't when it was explained to me countless times by my writing group. So say this instead: "We arrived just then, the conversation cut short." See if that makes sense :D There's several spots where information is given but not explained upon, meaning you told us something but nothing about how it is relevant to the story. For example, the wierd guy giving his speech. Why was this important? Was there anything in the speech relevent? If not I would say cut it :) Interested to see where this goes!
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